Hello everyone :-)!
Yesterday I took an important desicion. I decided to end my Camino, here in Hamburg, where I have spent a week now.
The last month of walking has been very demanding, more than I could ever expect. I have had several ups and downs. I have not been feeling allright, is if I have not had a stable and balanced ground to walk on and to lean on. I have too realized what it really takes to spend this much time alone. I have been sleeping and eating alone for weeks and weeks. I guess I was not prepared enough, but at the same time, how could I be? When I walked, alone, not meeting that many people, I start to loose motivation and inspiration, I lost my track...
I started to think too, a lot, as I tend to do, and started to question my goals. When I feel good I never do that. I always feel very certain and I know in which direction to move. I listen to my heart and I trust my initution. But since some time now, I started to forget about all of that.
What is courage? What does courage mean to you? Are heroes courageous? Who is a hero? Who is a role-model?
These questions have been floating around in my head for the last week. Is courage to continue walking a path, that your heart tells you not to do? Is it about me? This is my life, am I doing the right thing? Things I write, and I say this. most humbly, might make people feel something, but if I don't feel and if I don't live truly, then what is then left in the end, when I run out of inspiration and thoughts? What is left of me?
I have realized that the most courageous thing I can do at the moment is to stop. I had a dream of walking to Santiago de Compostela, a place where I left a piece of my heart last year. I wanted to leave yet another piece there. But I do think that I already did this year too, but along the way. I have had the most amazing time with all of you beautiful people that I have met. I feel like that I left several pieces of my heart there, with you. You all mean a lot to me and it was you who truly shaped this journey, and me. I am carrying your words and your inspiration inside of me. I just need to find my way back to myself now.
Soo, 930 kms later and I reached Hamburg. The dream is still alive. The dream is still living inside of me. I just need to rest. The dream needs to rest, and maybe grow a little bit stronger. And I am sure it will, as soon as I find my way back to live the inspirational life that I imagine for myself.
Thank you so so much for all your support, words, thoughts, actions, smiles, love. The world needs people like you. People who know what really counts. To me, you are all heroes and I will always be thankful. You always made me feel safe, confident and secure.
I might share some more thoughts and reflections about the walk and what I have learnt, in the soon coming future. But good-bye for a while now and take care of yourself and eachother. That is what I am going to do.
LOVE, PEACE and ETERNAL BLISS